Thursday, November 11, 2010

Shrinking Conspiracy

I think my clothes have shrunk.

Being that it‘s been colder than a well digger‘s butt lately, I finally got around to hauling my winter clothes from the depths of the closet and spent the whole morning getting everything washed and sorted when a curious thing happened.

Nothing fit.

Hmm...the Shrink Fairy must have visited my closet. That or that sneaky little washer has been shrinking my clothes again. It happens from time to time. I think it has some sort of vendetta against me. A missing sock here, a shirt shrunk there…I’m onto it now.

It’s just a shame that my entire wardrobe had to fall victim to wicked fairies and a washing machine with a grudge. I mean, obviously it’s just a stroke of rotten luck…it’s not like I put on a few pounds or anything. That would just be silly.

Although….I haven’t exactly weighed myself in awhile. But that’s mostly because scales are vile, evil devices. I had the misfortune to run across one at a doctor’s office that actually talked.

In FRONT of people!

Completely unaware that I was about to visit hell, I stepped onto the scale and promptly fell off with a start when it began shouting my weight to everyone within earshot. Yeah….I don’t go there anymore.

At any rate, it’s too cold to walk around naked so I guess a shopping trip is in order. Maybe I’ll even pick up a scale while I’m at it. I hear the fairies are scared of scales…

14 comments:

rachel♥jo said...

lol - last week I tried to convince a nurse that my converses weighed at least 5 lbs!

bonda84 said...

I would have been oweing the doctors office a new scale since I would have sent that thing to the moon in one swift kick.

And I have suspected the sock gnomes and hamper monkeys for missing socks and holes in underwear but I never even suspected shrinking fairies...that explains it all!!

yrautca said...

I hear that in the post-honey moon period its quite expected for clothes to shrink.

Terese said...

ahh, the post-wedding weight creepage is so annoying. i knew it would happen, but i'm still not happy about it. mostly because i know everything i bought this past summer will not fit next year!

thanks for your comment the other day!

berly02 said...

I am so happy to learn of the shrinking fairies!!!
Thank you Linny!!!!

Princess Pessimism said...

thats sucky...im having the opposite problem...everything keeps falling off of me....its very expensive

Kelly said...

LOL, that dr. office story is hilarious...well, not for you :/ :D I can totally relate to the whole shrunken clothes dilemma, only I can't afford to go shopping, so it's pretty much sweats and t-shirts for me right now! :D

Mandy said...

Haha! This is hilarious. And I love the name of your blog. I am feeling the same way!

Hoochie Mama said...

Oh, I had that same problem this year! If you hadn't posted this blog I would never have figured out that it was an evil fairy doing this to me. Is it a Georgia thing or is it happening everywhere? Blah!

Kelly said...

hahaha it shouted your weight?!?! i would have died not just out of embarrassment but out of being scared silly!!

I love this post :)

Jabba said...

Ha!Ha! That's hilarious about the scale. I LOST tons of weight just after I got married actually, I had to buy an entire new wardrobe of clothes for work - that was a fun shopping trip!

angel, jr. said...

All my stuff smelled like cedar and that mothball stuff--difficult to get that smell out, but I managed to air most of it out.

justajenn said...

Sounds like a good reason to go shopping to me!

cornflakegirl74 said...

WHAT?!?! A scale that talks?!? Oh, hunny... that's just cruel. Especially to have one at the doctor's office. I'd never step foot in there again either!

Your clothes are totally shrinking. Time to hit up some sales :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog the other day; your comment made me smile! Hope you're having a great week!!