Saturday, December 3, 2011

You Can Call Me Mom

Well now I guess I can tell you the real reason I've been MIA.

On July 3rd I will be a Momma. :)

We're just about 10 weeks now and according to the doctor, everything is going perfectly. Little Bit has arms, legs, fingers and toes and a good strong heartbeat so we are immensely relieved and happy.

The only downside is that morning sickness has been the devil. I cannot tell you the number of days I thought I was going to die or have a permanent indention on my face from the toilet. One of those pesky little things your friends don't tell you is that you have to start carrying a bucket in the car with you. Ugh. I finally got the doctor to phone me in some meds for the worst days but hopefully I will only have a couple more weeks of this misery. I'm ready to get my energy back!

Anywho, so that's the big mystery. I've felt like poo and have had a hard time doing much of anything these days....but all for a greater cause. :)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Oh how time flies.

I'm still here. Just been busy channeling my inner domestic goddess.

Wanna see?

Chicken N' Dumplings (A Southern staple )


Mini Chicken Pot Pie (I boo booed up on the crust a bit but no matter.)
Chili Topped Fritos.....Mmmmmmmmmm


I realized that I had turned a corner when the number of things I made right on the first try, outweighed the things I dumped in the trash and remade before the husband got home. :) AND it all tastes good.


That's progress peoples!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Semi-Domestic Goddess

Guess what I did Sunday?

No wait...you'll never guess.

I, Lindsey...former spinster, spent the entire afternoon cooking, portioning out and freezing meals for me and the hubby.

I can see that you're in shock. Wordless even.

Who would have guessed that I'd turn out to be so domestic? I'm sure you all recall the cookie dough debacle of 2009 when the mixer ran amuck and splattered gobs of dough on the cabinets, counters, fridge and me.

I've come a long way baby. :)

Well, I say that but with all my leaps and bounds, sometimes my landings are still a bit shaky.

For instance, during Sunday's cooking marathon the first meal up was chicken pot pie but I realized I didn't have any unsalted butter. After much desperate digging around the fridge, I discovered I didn't have any butter whatsoever, salted or unalted, which was bad because I needed it for something else too. Certainly this new bombdiggety domestic goddess had not failed to pick up a much needed item during the morning's grocery trip? Hmmm. Ok, no worries. The grocery store is just a block away so I kept my cool and scooted out to the store. Disaster averted.

Tasty pot pie filling expertly crafted and tucked way, I got to work on the mexican soup...one of the husband's favorites, not to mention that it's his mother's recipe. And ya know, at first everything was going great. The sausage browned nicely, the veggies were tender and I was just getting ready to add the second can of Rotel when it hit me. Holy shit. These were both supposed to be original flavor but this one was CILANTRO AND LIME!! (Would not work with this dish at all.) You have got to be kidding me!! I took a deep breath. Ok...well let's just try this with one can and see how it tastes. No...nope. Shit. It NEEDS the second can.

I cuss, I throw the kitchen towel, I stub my toe...cuss some more and then finally tell the hubby to keep an eye on the stove. Back to the store I go...for the THIRD time today. I run in, grab the Rotel (original flavor thankyouverymuch) and made sure I found a cashier that I hadn't already had that day. Then I dashed home only to find my way blocked by fire trucks, ambulances and a little man waving me left for a detour.

This is bad.

I just moved here. I DON'T KNOW ANY DETOURS!!

I turn left...grudgingly and stare at the long stretch of road ahead of me. Then a brilliant idea strikes me. My phone!! I start up google maps and tell it to find my location. It stares back at me unblinking. I hit the button again. MY LOCATION. No change. I shake it violently and let loose a string of choice words that would make even a sailor blush. I was just contemplating how much satisfaction may be gained from throwing it out the window and watching it smash against the asphalt when I noticed a car coming up behind me. Ohhhhh. Maybe HE knows where he's going! Casually I pulled off to the right and pretended to read something. As soon as he passed I pulled forward and tailed him all the way to the main highway, some five miles away from the house.

Sigh.

Oh well. At least I knew where I was now.

A grand detour and a lot of cuss words later, I made it home and the second can of Rotel really made the soup. The husband was happy and the mother-in-law's recipe was not tarnished...so all in all, I guess it was worth it. But it just goes to show...linny spinster has not left the building.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Couponing: How To

I've had several people ask me how couponing works and whether it's worth it. Let me assure you, if you are someone who could benefit from saving A LOT of money...then YES it is completely and totally worth it! You would not believe all the stuff I get for free every single week. It's rediculous, honestly. Now, if you ever watch the show Extreme Couponing, you've got to understand that's a high dramatazation of how couponing works. The vast majority of couponers do not save 90% or more on their regular weekly grocery shopping, that's more of what you should expect to save on health and beauty items. Saving on groceries is harder due to the lack of coupons for things like meats and veggies so the realistic goal most of us shoot for on our regular grocery bill is a savings of 50-60%. For me personally, since there is just me and the hubby we were spending around $80.00 a week on groceries...now I spend around $40 and I come home with 3 x the number of stuff as when I was spending the $80!

Couponing is super easy and just requires some extra time when you first get started and are getting yourself organized. I usually spend an hour or two every weekend clipping new coupons and organzing them in my coupon binder and taking out the expired ones. Then I go do my regular shopping like normal...I just have my binder with me. (I'll do a another post showing my binder and explaining that more.)

How much money you can save varies by what stores are in your areas and what their coupon policies are. You'll get your biggest savings at stores that double coupons. Doubling is when a store doubles the face value of a coupon...for instance, you have a .50 cent off coupon and they double it making it $1.00 off. Which stores double and up to how much is totally up to the individual stores so call your local shops and find out what their policies are but keep in mind there are some areas that don't have stores that will double at all. In my area the stores will double any coupon with a face value of up to .50 cents, anything above that is just taken at face value.

Now the trick to saving the most money isn't just buying something with a coupon. You wait until an item goes on sale (typically hitting it's rock bottom price) and THEN you buy it, combining it with your coupon to maximize savings. Ok, I'm a visual learner so here's some pictures to help you understand some of the basics.

When a store has a Buy 1 Get 1 Free sale...keep in mind you do NOT have to buy two of the items to get the deal! What they do is simply slash the price of the item in half. For instance, Publix had Bugles and Chex Mix on sale B1G1. Normally they're $2.59 but with the sale they are $1.29 each. I happened to have a .50 cent off coupon and since my store doubles...they took $1.00 off, meaning the cost was only .29 cents!!!!



Stacking coupons. Most stores that have their own store coupons will allow you to use one store coupon in conjunction with a manufacturer coupon. (Again, check your store's policy.) This is an awesome way to maximze savings. Here CVS had shave gel on sale for $1.99. I was able to use the $1 off manufacturer coupon from the sunday paper AND stack it with the $1 off store coupon I printed off CVS' website. This made it FREE!

This was a fun find during the summer. My store had an unadvertised sale where the frozen lemonade was on sale for $1.00. (On 10 for 10 sales you do not have to buy 10 items to get the deal...each item is just listed at $1.00 whether you get one or five.) I had a .50 cent off coupon which doubled up to $1.00 making this FREE!



My husband's favorite soap. Normally $1.99 for the 2-bar pack, it was on sale for .88 cents. The store doubled my .35 cent off coupon making it .70 cents off, which made the soap only .18 cents!!!!



.
It's super important to always check your clearance racks and bins! These Proglide razors are usually $8.49 but they were on clearance for $4.16. I happened to have a $4.00 off coupon which made them .16 cents!!! (Clearance sales are a reason why you should ALWAYS bring your binder with you.)



In this case I did not have a manufacturer coupon but Target has store coupons on their website. Lo and behold there was a $1.00 coupon and these cat treats happened to be on sale for .99 cents. You know what that means....FREE! I nabbed a couple to add to my box of pet food that I'm donating to the local animal shelter next weekend.
My store was running a great sale which made men's bodywash $1.99 (normally priced at $3.99). This makes it at it's rock bottom price so I used my $2.00 off coupon and it made them FREE!!

Super great sale b/c these things are normally super expensive. These were the large bags normally priced at $7.49 but were on sale for $4.99. I had a $3.00 off coupon which made them $1.99 each!!!
Hopefully this has given you a basic idea of how it all works. I buy my Sunday papers on Saturday afternoon (here they offer an early edition, it's probably available in your area too.) So the day before the sales I'm able to go through and clip my coupons and get them organized and in my binder. Then I go through the sales ADs and match up my coupons for the best deals. Keep in mind that it takes a couple of weeks to really get going and start saving the most because you have to build up a stock of coupons to use and eventually you'll be able to build a nice stockpile of goods at home and won't have to go out as often or buy as much.

Until that happens, my helpful tips would be to make sure you go shopping for your deals early Sunday morning before everyone else gets there and the shelves are empty and if you do happen to find a deal that's sold out....get a rain check! Also make sure you've found out your local stores coupon policy (I even keep copies in my binder) because more often than not, the cashiers are not properly trained and will sometimes tell you they can't take a coupon when they really can. Also, I highly suggest finding a good coupon blog to follow. This is especially helpful if you're a newbie. They do a lot of the work for you, finding match ups and posting them along with which coupon you need. I follow The Krazy Coupon Lady (http://www.krazycouponlady.com/) and they have a good beginners section there which will probably explain things better than I did. Happy Couponing!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Week in Deals

I've got a post planned for this weekend but in the meantime...I'm still couponing like crazy and am so proud of my stockpile! Not only have I cut my monthly grocery bill more than in half but I get tons more stuff with less money AND I was able to send 5 grocery bags worth of goodies to my sister and brother-in-law who just recently moved back from Florida and are on a really tight budget. Here are the really good deals I got this week:

3 Febreeze warmers with covers and 2 Neutrogena facial bar soap.

Retail cost $13.00 and I paid...ZERO!!!!!!



4 boxes of pasta, 4 men's body wash, 4 travel packs of dishwashing tabs,


2 pocket packs of Advil and 2 puppy nursing bottles


(being donated along with a bunch of cat food).


Retail was $34.00 and I paid ZERO!!!!!



Scored a bunch of Gillette Fusion Proglide razors (normally nearly $9.00)

for .16 cents each after coupon!! My husband loves these and I was able to

score enough that we won't have to buy razors for MONTHS!



Just in time for cold and flu season. I snagged 6 boxes of tissue for $1.74


and 4 bottles of Advil (2 of the 40 count and 2 of the 50 count) for FREE!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Back to Work

My energy is coming back and I finally feel like getting back to reality. I really want to get back to writing so I'm taking baby steps and continuing with the movie reviews for my local paper and currently I'm working on an article to submit to one of my favorite webistes for consideration in a series of articles they are commissioning. I did my outline this morning and hope to have it finished by tomorrow....keep your fingers crossed that it'll get picked! I don't really care about the money, I just like seeing my stuff in print. :)

I'm off to get this sucker knocked out but I'll leave you with my review of "The Help" which was published in yesterday's paper. The paper is a small, local one so they have us on super word restriction so we can't get as detailed as we'd always like...but that is my regular challenge and I love it! :)

"The Help" 3 out of 4 stars

Whenever a novel strikes a nerve with a large number of people, its big screen counterpart is generally met with both anticipation and trepidation. In this case, I think director Tate Taylor did a respectable job of bringing "The Help" to life while trying to stay loyal to Kathyrn Stockett's 2009 novel of the same name.

Based in the 1960s Mississippi, "The Help" is the story of black maids working for wealthy white families at a time when the Civil Rights Moment was still in its infancy, and segregation and abuse were still the norm. Some of the stories will break your heart while other stories make you laugh out loud but most importantly...they make you feel.

The truth isn't always easy, nor is it always pretty but as they say, "The truth shall set you free."

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Heading for the Light

Well, I finally had the physical miscarriage over the weekend. For those of you who have never had one...it is beyond awful. I can assure you that the doctor's briefing on the topic was not at all sufficient for the reality of the process. Had an especially traumatizing experience at the doctor's office this afternoon when they checked to make sure I'd had a 'total miscarriage' but I'll spare you the gory details.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

But on the plus side, they said that we could start trying again in two months so that is the little piece of light I've been holding onto.

The husband and I are leaving tomorrow for Indianapolis. He has a convention and I'm taking a much needed break from everything familiar. I am so looking forward to this...dreading the 9 1/2 drive but it will all be worth it!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Sad Day

It's a sad day for this former spinster. We went back to the new doctor for another ultrasound today and found that I had indeed had an early miscarriage at 7 weeks. Physically I haven't had the actual miscarriage yet (I've been told it will happen within 2-4 weeks) but they're certain...there is no longer a heartbeat or growth.

We are deeply sad and disappointed. I just keep thinking about how happy our families have been...how they've been bragging to everyone.

Sigh.

Thanks for sending us your happy thoughts. Keep them coming...we're gonna need them.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Bedside Manner

Or should I say lack thereof.

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, it's been a series of back experiences with the nurse at the OBGYN office. Over the last 3 weeks we've done weekly labs and every week she calls me to tell me that she unhappy with the results and we're likely in the early stages of a miscarriage but she never brings me in for an ultrasound which is more accurate than labs alone. So we pull strings and drive an hour north to get a scan elsewhere, where we find that so far everything looks normal.

Fast forward to this week where I get the now regular "your labs suck and it's bad news" phone call. But this time she says that she consulted a doctor in the practice whom I've never seen in the 10 years I've been going there (my regular doctor is retired from OB) and supposedly he said that based on my labs this isn't a viable pregnancy and I need to schedule a time to come in so that we can set a timeline for "how long I plan to let this go on." #1 Who says shit like that? # 2....why would you say that when you've NEVER seen me and you still haven't done an ultrasound??!

I flat out told her I wasn't doing or speaking to anyone until we had a scan so she brought me in yesterday. I was sick to my stomach the entire time and was so terrified but as soon as the tech turned on the machine...there was not only a baby...but there was a heartbeat. I stared at it, just watching it flutter away like crazy. We were so happy. They were wrong yet again.

But then the nurse from hell comes in and glances at the little picture I was holding so proudly and says off handedly, "That's not normal. You're going to meet with the doctor." So again I get my feet kicked out from under me and have to meet the doctor who was so quick to write me off. He proceeds to tell me that the news wasn't good and frankly he was shocked they were able to get a fetal pole much less a heartbeat. Said the baby's heart beat isn't as fast as he feels it should be at this gestation and it will take a miracle for it to survive. Said I should expect to miscarry within the next 2 weeks.

Needless to say, I'm devastated and scared but trying to stay positive and hope for the best since they've been wrong both times before. I've also switched practices and have an appointment with the new doctor Tuesday afternoon so I am praying that maybe there will be a positive change by then. You know, I've not done a whole lot of praying since I was little and when my Dad died...I was angry with God for a REALLY long time. But as I sat in that waiting room, more scared than I have ever been...I rested my hand on top of the Bible that was on the table next to me and prayed my little heart out. I just hope he heard me.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Update

First, thank you everyone for your well wishes! They mean a bunch.

Had a bit of a scare yesterday (first time pregnancy is scary in and of itself but throw in the levels that aren't of the norm and arrggg. Get outta here.) Anyway, so to just put our minds at ease, I had an ultrasound today and they were able to see the yolk sac and that the lining is thickening (sorry boys). Still too early to see the baby or a heart beat as they think I may be barely 5 weeks along but in about 3 weeks or so we should be able to have another scan to check for all that so that we can breathe a final sigh of relief. This was a very positive vist and the new doctor I saw was very reassuring and said at this point everything looks right on track!

Hooray!!!

So while the butterbean is gonna do some growing...momma is gonna do some sleeping. I'm exhausted!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Unexpected News

So, I have news.

I'm pregnant!

Quite frankly, I'm still in shock but the husband is beside himself with excitement. If all goes well, we'll have company around February 23rd.

There's a hitch though and that's why I'm writing this post. All may not go well.

My bloodwork showed my HCG levels rising but not quite doubling as they would like and my progesterone was a little on the low side but they started me on prometrium to help fix that. There is a great chance that everything will be FINE, especially with my doctor being proactive and starting the prometrium BUT there is also a very large chance that we didn't catch it in time and I could lose the baby.

This is has been my one place where I could be totally honest and because of this I feel comfortable telling you that I am TERRIFIED. Scared shitless. There is a sweet little baby growing inside of me and I am doing everything within my power to ensure that it continues to thrive. But I guess what scares me the most are the things that I don't have control over. Not a whole lot I can do about those things except hope and pray for the best.

I have to go back on Monday for another round of blood work so we'll know more then. PLEASE keep us in your thoughts...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Year That Was

One year ago today I was crammed into a too small room in the corner of the hospital, staring off into space as the doctor told my family there was nothing more they could do. I remember the sensation of losing all feeling in my body as I stared at the doctor's moving mouth and wondering why I could not longer hear him.

One year ago today...a piece of me died.

Death causes a sticky kind of pain that clings to your insides with ferocity. It's an overwhelming kind of pain that takes you by surprise and creeps up at moments you least expect. It's a hurt that I've learned to live with.

There aren't enough words to express how much I miss my Daddy or what I would give to have one more day.

Just one more day.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

A Sneak Preview of the House

I know you're anxious to see the inside...good thing I've got pictures!! These were taken while the previous owners were still living there so none of the furniture is mine but I told them they were welcome to leave it all. :)

Formal living room and dining room. I've never really been a fan of the duel formal and informal rooms but seems like every house we saw had them and at least these were open and warm vs. all the walled off rooms we'd see elsewhere.

So one of the main things I'd been looking for in a house was an open floor plan. Seems like every house we went to was nothing but a bunch of boxy rooms and I hated it...so this was a breath of fresh air when I saw it. It's hard to see but there's also a little breakfast area in the kitchen. And on the opposite side of the living room where I was standing, there's a fireplace and the stairs leading to the 2nd floor.

Master bathroom...LOVE this! There's a big garden tub to the right, seated next to a window (hope there's no neighborhood perverts), straight ahead is a double vanity and the toilet is in a little room with it's own door...lol. To the left is a humongous walk in closet.
This is the master bedroom and it's very dramatic b/c when you walk up the stairs...the first thing you see is are these two door thrown open to reveal this huge bedroom.
Now THIS is one of the main reasons I fell in love with the house. Off the master bedroom...there are two french doors that open up into this BEAUTIFUL office complete with fireplace. I have always wanted an office, a quiet place for me to write and think...and now I finally have it. The hubby got a spare bedroom. :)

The half bath downstairs. There are 4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths and the office. Just over 2,700 something square feet.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Bonifide Homeowners

Allow me to introduce you to our new house.

We finally go it!!!!

More to come later but just wanted to share the good news!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

First Big Grocery Trip

I decided to try my hand at a couponing trip for groceries this past weekend and actually did pretty good I think for a first time. Everything you see here plus 5 bottles of body wash and fruits and veggies.

Retail was $133.56

I paid $58.03 for a total savings of $75.53. :)

Favorite deals of the week: $.97 for the Purex laundry detergent, $.13 for Colgate toothpaste, $.13 for Colgate toothbrush, $.79 total for TWO boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios, free Scotch tape (3 rolls that are tucked away into my wrapping paper box), free body wash and Lowrey's marinade for $.49.

So all in all a pretty good weekend but definitely shooting to do even better!!! Want to get that bottom line down even lower. I likes a good challenge, I do.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Gettin' There

Had to show off my week 2 attempt at couponing. Getting better! Still have to work on saving on food items so a friend is giving my sister and I tips on stores that are friendly to price matching and taking competitor coupons so maybe in the coming weeks I'll have that down.

In the mean time I'm saving on health and beauty items which we won't have to pay for on upcoming shopping trips for quite awhile. Wait til you see how I did this week!!You are looking at 3 packs of heating patches (for the hubby), 5 packs of razors, 5 packs of girlie liners and a 3 bar pack of soap which retail for $60.50. Guess how much I paid. Go on...guess!

N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!

I got them all FREE!

For $60.50 worth of stuff...I paid a measley .70 cents in sales tax! :) Woohoo!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

For the Love of Coupons

Thanks to the husband's unexpected surgery, Uncle Sam and home buying, the husband and I are, for lack of a better term...in the hole. So, to make the most of our pennies I jumped on the coupon band wagon and now I wish I'd started this ages ago!

For the record, let it be known that I'm not one of those crazy people who buy 93 bags of croutons or 114 bottles of Excedrin PM. I buy only things we will use and I'm courteous to other shoppers and get only what we need to get us by for a good bit instead of clearing the shelves.

I warn you...it's addictive though.

The rush when you score a super good deal.

The absurd happiness that comes from watching to total go down down down down.

All the FREE STUFF!!

These are a few of the things from my very first venture last week. The retail price for everything came to about $71 and after coupons and sales prices...I paid $29! Not too bad for my first time out but wait til you see what I've got planned for next week!!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Can I Borrow a Pointy Boot?

Trying to buy a home is going to be the death of me. I’m sure of it.

But then, keeling over before I’ve had a chance to reap the rewards of our hard won victory would be tremendously rotten luck.

I think the biggest problem for me is the simple lack of control over things now that we have lobbed the ball into the bank‘s court. Yes, it is possible that I may be inclined to exhibit a few Type A tendencies on occasion, (okay maybe a fair few) but the people at Citi Bank are suffering from something far more serious. They have a severe case of…Thumb Up The Rear.

I’m told it’s a fairly common ailment for people who work in this particular field and that the only cure is a swift kick in the ass. Fortunately for them, I am a medical professional and am willing to offer my services. Anything to help the cause.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Anniversary

It's hard to believe that one year ago today I was fighting with the idiot florist, safely navigating guests to a destination in the middle of nowhere and praying that my little white dress still fit. Marrying that man is the best decision I ever made in my life.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

A Funny Thing Happened...

Well, see…

What had happened was…

It’s really a funny story…

Oh to hell with it.

Remember my husband’s post coital back injury? Yes, well…it actually turned out to be a herniated disc. So while I joked about breaking his back…turns out I really did.

In reality, he had actually been having moderate pain off and on for quite some time and we just weren’t smart enough to realize there was serious trouble a brewin’. I think our little romp that night was just the final nudge the disc needed to proceed with throwing a wrench in everything.

So, while I had every intention of being a diligent blogger and getting back to my writing…I got waylaid. I’ve spent the last month plus; being a nurse, taxi driver, personal assistant, insurance specialist and moral support. But now, post surgery, I am happy to say that he is all better and seeing as how things are getting back to normal…looks like I can get back to being a blogger.

Be careful what you ask for. :)

Monday, March 28, 2011

Serenity Now

As the manager for our medical practice, it is my responsibility to deal with our less than savory patients. You know, the ones that complain about everything. Who refuse to fill out paperwork, who tell you what they will and will not pay, who want to tell the doctor how to run his practice.

The ones you hate.

Yeah, I get those.

On St. Patrick's day there was a particularly vile, roly poly of a man raising hell with the staff so I stepped in between them. Right there in the front office, he and I had a little "Come to Jesus" meeting and I let him know what was and was not going to be tolerated and if he wanted to be seen, he was going to play by our rules. He backed down more quickly than expected...so much so that I was left walking back to my office perplexed. Then I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.DAMN.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

When Playtime Goes Awry

For the last two days the husband has been laid up on the couch with a heating pad and standing by his claim that I injured his back.

Funny thing is, instead of being grumpy... he's unusually happy. I'm talking ear to ear smiles and as much attentiveness as an immobile man can give.

Well, we didn't break the bed this time...but we may have broke his back. :)

What can I say? It's been a good year.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Here There and Everywhere

Wow, I didn't realize how long it had been since I posted last! Whoops.

In my defense, I have been non-stop busy. Doing what you may ask?

House hunting.

Yup. We've spent nearly every weekend for the last two months searching for the right house. We found A LOT of wrong houses...but I'm excited because I think finally, we found THE one. We put in an offer this morning which was accepted by the sellers this afternoon buuuuuuuuut, it's a short sale which means we have to wait for final approval on the bid from their lender. So keep your fingers crossed.

Getting ready to head to the mountains tomorrow so I promise to write again soon. Have lots to say. In the mean time, let me leave you with this:

If you work with hot peppers...no matter how thoroughly you wash your hands after...you MUST resist the urge to scratch any itch below the equator. TRUST me.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The Fluff War

There is a fluff war going on in my house and I’m not sure if I’m winning.

I took a look at the old decrepit scale the husband always complains about and decided that we needed a new one of the digital, easy to read variety. I would be putting you on if I said that I wasn’t a little apprehensive about what number was going to appear…I knew the old one had been lying to me, I just didn’t know how deceitful it had been. I thought surely it couldn’t be more than a mere 3 or 4 pound difference…..yeah, right. What if I tell you that my shiny, new scale has informed me that my weight was underestimated by a whopping TEN pounds!

T-E-N!!!

Well shit.

It’s at moments like this when you’ve got to stop and ask yourself if the truth was really worth it. Is honestly really the best policy?

In the long run I suppose it is. You can’t get where you’re going unless you know where you’re coming from.

But...geez louise.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Fluffy

I don’t think I can avoid the truth any longer.

I wanted to deny it but my too tight pants threatened me with a public split of monstrous proportions if I didn’t come clean. So here are the cold, hard facts.

I have gotten fluffy.

Geez. There…I said it!

I wish realizations of truth such as this were gifted by removal of said wobbly bits but alas, my wobbly bits are still…wobbly.

Sigh.

Nothing to be done now but to get on with it.

Pass me the sneakers and watch the fluff go poof.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Fake It Til You Make It

I’ll go ahead and state the obvious.

It’s been a long time since I last wrote. There are a lot of reasons, chief among them was that my heart just hasn’t been in it. This is literally the first time I’ve picked up my lap top in over a month. Then the damn thing wouldn’t start up. I think it was holding a grudge…angry at feeling neglected.

Not that I blame it. I haven’t blogged, I haven’t written any movie reviews…nothing. It’s as if all interest in writing has been sucked out of me…which you should know is, for lack of a better term…really weird. But in my defense, I’ve not had anything interesting at all to write about. My life as of late has been one big HO HUM and who wants to read about that? But at your urging, I promise to buckle down and give it the old college try.

What’s the phrase?

Fake it ‘til you make it.

Well honey, I can fake it all day long. Pass me the tuna sandwich please, I’ll have what she’s having.